The Good and The Bad

You are my greatest strength yet my greatest weakness,

You are my hero and my villain,

You are the one I run to, but yet I often run from you,

You are the one I love; you are the one I loathe,

You are my joy and you are my anger,

You are my success; you are my failure,

You are my relief; you are my pain,

You are my shoulder to cry on but you are the one who makes me cry,

You are my comfort; you are my fear,

You are my pride yet you are my shame,

You are my source of bravery yet you are terrified,

You are my confidence; you are my insecurity,

You are my defeater; you are my victory,

You are my encouragement yet you are the one who puts me down the most,

You are my glee; you are my gloom,

You surround me but make me feel so isolated,

You are friendly, you are reserved,

You are loved, you are neglected,

You are my peace yet you overwhelm me,

You are sensitive, you are straightforward,

You are content, you are needy,

You make me relaxed yet you make me edgy,

You are outgoing, you are shy

You are trusting yet you are suspicious,

You are you. 

 

 

Wonderful!

10/16/2010

Last night was wonderful!  I wish it could always be like last night.  We had such a great night.  Date Night.  I thought it would never happen.  A nice dinner, a funny movie and us… just us.  It was like we were dating again.  No kids, don’t get me wrong I love having the kids with us but last night was special.  It was just the two of us and it couldn’t have been better.  I hope we are able to do that more often.  It really seemed like we were able to enjoy each other again and re-connect.

 

 

His Letter To Me

Today is the first day of my weekend alone.  My son is at his dad's this weekend and my step daughter is with her mom this weekend.  I tried to prep myself for this weekend, telling myself that time alone would be good for me and my relationship. 

Earlier today I began to start thinking about being alone.  This will be the first time since I started talking about the abuse that I will be alone.  Just me and my thoughts.  No distractions. 

Then I found the letter.  It made me remember why I was doing this, getting it all out working on me and my past for a better future.  This weekend might be hard, but then again it could be the best thing that ever happened to us.  It's only what you make of it, right??

To My Wife,
I love you so very much.  I want to be able to listen without feeling rage and to be able to ask questions without feeling the anger.  All I can think about it hurting someone for hurting you.  That is the only thing I know I could do for you.  I could make someone feel pain.  I do not know how to take your pain away.  I love you more than I can express and I hope I can be there for you.  I am trying I just don't know how.  I love you, Me